I'm Hopeless.........Like a Penny with a Hole in it

"Hello morning, now when does the fun begin
Goodbye morning, sorry it had to end
But see I cried just a little too long
Now it's time for me to be strong
Hello morning, I sure missed you last night
Goodbye morning, you just won't do me right
I stayed just a little too long Now it's time for me to move on

They say I'm hopeless, as a penny wit a hole in it
Penny wit a, penny wit a hole in it, yeah, yeah, yeah
They say I'm no less, no less, no less, no less, no less
Than up to my head in it

Hello yesterday, I sure need you now
Goodbye yesterday, I just can't stay around
You see I cried just a little too long
Now it's time for me to be strong
Hello yesterday, remember how it used to be
Goodbye yesterday, I can't take you with me
You see I stayed just a little too long
And now it's time for me to move on

They say I'm hopeless, as a penny wit a hole in it
Penny wit a, penny wit a hole in it, yeah, yeah, yeah
They say I'm no less, no less, no less, no less, no less
Than up to my head in it"
Rachelle Ferrell

Okay, I know that sounds all sad and depressing but I'm actually happy today!  So why did I pick this song?  Because this song isn't depressing to me : )  Maybe it's the beat or maybe because it's from Love Jones, but this song actually makes me kind of giddy and girly.  This is my "crush" song.  People that know me well know that I LOVE crushes : )  I have all types of crushes......celebrity crushes, love interest crushes, and regular crushes.  Regular crushes are the best. They are fun, flirty and no pressure.  Anyone can be your regular crush, even some one you know you could NEVER be in a relationship with.  You know him.  The guy you work with.  The really cute really nice guy that has too many kids and baby mamas.  That young tenderoni or extra distinguished grandpa.  That guy that lives in another city or state.  That cute charismatic guy that is a PLAYBOY!  Or that dude that just don't like you like that.  LOL!  There's plenty of crush material to go around.

But for regular crushes, there should be some rules, some limitations to this crush game just to make sure that......well........that you're not a pervert and to avoid any complications that might incur if you were to act on your crush.

1) Don't crush anyone that's involved long term...i.e. has a live-in girlfriend, wife, significant other
2) Don't crush anyone of illegal age.......under 18 or tooooo old........just PERVERTED
3) There's gotta be some shame or obstacle to your crush.....otherwise, you might as well go for it
4) No crushing your girl's ex........too much drama
5) No crushing same guy for over a yr.....you can go back, give it a break before it becomes obsession

But there are some gray areas....  what if the guy is an ex of an associate, not really a friend?  What if the guy is a friend of a guy that's interested in you?  What if an associate, not really a friend, liked the guy but he didn't like her? Hmmmmmm

I've had (ok, still HAVE) some weird crushes in my life.  I crushed a guy once just because he smiled whenever he saw me and went out of his way to speak; I crushed one dude who's friend tried to date me.....I never talk to that guy anymore but his friend and I are still cool; I had an old man crush...he would have been perfect if he was at least 5 yrs younger; I had a crush on a guy just because of a face he made....it was such an UGLY screw face but it had so much passion...LOL!

Celebrity Crushes
Mike Tomlin, Nick Saban, Ray Allen, Sean Connery, Clint Eastwood, Tyrese, Reggie Bush

body crush = Toni Braxton & Nia Long....they're both short too : )
skin crush = Gabrielle Union
hair crush = Queen Latifah & Toya....Toya's weave is ALWAYS on point

Managing Brand YOU

So as I am preparing to create my vision board for 2012, one of the phrases that hit me for the year is "Managing Brand YOU".  As a sales and marketing professional, I am surrounded by campaigns to get more shoppers in the store, to get shoppers to buy this or that product, to get shoppers to buy just one more time, etc...Everyday I am challenged to develop and execute programs that drive sales for the BRAND.  But how does that apply to my everyday life?  People have a perception and image of me...so what am I doing to mold and create that?  What do people think and say about me? 

So to get myself in line, I take the same principles used for branding a national product and apply it to myself.  Let's compare:

1)Focus - Don't try to be all thing to all people.  Nike has a really good focus area - athletic wear with primary core being tennis shoes.  Although you saw it all over facebook, Nike is not really trying to make high heeled shoes, or fashion dresses. They are not into corporate wear, just athletic goods.  So I have to take the same approach.  I can't be every one's best friend, I can't treat all my friends the same, I can't spend time with everyone. I must focus on my core strengths, the things that I do well and the people that I vibe with most and focus my time, efforts and energy there.

2) Communicate with consistency.  You know you're hearing a Pringles commercial whenever you hear, "Once you pop, you can't stop" or if you hear that giggle, you know its Pillsbury  dough boy.  Well, I must do the same thing.  You should get the same me whenever you see me.  Now, I don't fit in a box, but the core will still be the same.  That I'm laid back, friendly, like to laugh, and will listen.

3) Differentiate with passion & purpose.  BMW is the ultimate driving experience.  EVERYBODY knows when you see red bottoms, that they are Louboutins.  You will pay for these experiences, but you KNOW that this is top quality, lasting and always in style and makes a statement.  That's the type of brand I want to be.  That there's something just a little extra in me, but its worth it.

4)Position yourself or others will position you   Does anybody remember what happened to Borders?  They became irrelevant.  As things were changing, they never did anything to change with the times. They got booted out of the market.  Were they any different from Barnes & Nobles? No, but B&N didn't allow the trend of ecommerce to beat them...they became more sophisticated & expansive with their online offerings and Borders did nothing.  I MUST place myself in situations with good opportunities for growth, around positive and focused people, and have a clear vision of what I want to accomplish.  Because if I don't, others will sap me dry and leave nothing for myself. 

Just some thoughts for today.  My vision board will be done pretty soon.  Excited for my 2012 goals : )

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year!!  I am really excited about 2012.......2011 was such a tremendously blessed year for me that I don't know if I will be able to handle 2012.   in 2011 I learned.....

1. that I am a busybody
2. I am not shy
3. I have no energy after 8:00 pm
4. I am a very logical thinker
5. God does not call the equipped, he equips who He calls
6. I'm either feeling you, or I'm not...don't know the rhyme or reason
7. hurt people, hurt people....it's not always personal
8. Twitter is addictive
9. Old Navy, Off Broadway, Target, The Limited and Marshalls are the devil
10. I have to document events on my calendar
11. I sometimes find it hard to ask for help
12. I can't be everyone's friend
13.  that saying no IS being nice
14. how to apologize for my actions and reactions, but not for my feelings
15. that arguing with my hair stylist is futile....and dangerous
16. I love my IPhone, but I need a real camera
17.  I'm not good at working retail
18.  I have some awesome people in my life
19.  I am terrible at showing people appreciation and reaching out
20.  that I am not getting younger, time to put some actions in motion

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

2011 has been an AMAZING year!!  A year of personal and professional growth, a year of tests of will and faith, a year of memories with great friends and family, and a milestone year of contentment with being ME.  I am unapologetic ANDREA.  Emotional, compassionate, introspective, unintentionally inconsiderate, messy(not to be confused with unclean or dirty or disorganized) laughing, perfume loving, wine and martini loving, junk jewelry loving, mani/pedi loving, scented candle loving, pajama loving, ME.  And there is nothing like going home for the holidays to remind me of that. 

So for Thanksgiving this year, I spent some time with the MS fam.  And by Tuesday I felt like I needed to wear a sign on my forehead that said.....NO, I am not dating anyone special;  NO, I don't think its because I cut all my hair;  YES, I do like men and find them attractive; and YES, I have gained some weight.   LOL!  I love my people and if it had not been for their influence, guidance and love I would not be in the place I am today.  But at the same time, I live in a VASTLY different society from what they did.  You don't HAVE to get married at 20 and have 3 kids by 30 to be considered adjusted or doing something with your life.  You don't HAVE to live around blood relatives in order to have people who look out & care for you.  You don't have to wait until you're married to purchase a house, or go on trips, or advance in your career.  You can do all of that right NOW.  And so, to some of my family members I am known as a wanderer, a career person, quiet and lonely.  And to others, who have access to facebook, I am known as a busy body, party girl, traveller and silly heart.  I don't think either description fits me, but hey I can't be confined to a box : )  And neither can they.  As much as my people think they have "traditional" values, they are revolutionaries!!!  my grandmother went to college when she was in her late 30's and learned to play piano in her 50's, MH didn't get married until she was 35....you just didn't roll like that back in the day.....2 of my aunts left home on the first train smoking by THEMSELVES...unheard of for their time.  So the world is changing and our expectations have to adapt.  Or not.  We choose.

Men Don't do Closure

So today I feel compelled to talk about a topic I know next to nothing about; MEN.  LOL.  But just because I don't know anything about a topic doesn't stop me from giving my opinion based on nothing but what I have concocted in my head.  Word of advice to any single women reading this - don't take my thoughts as any kind of help or advice...I don't know what I'm talking about.  LOL.  But here goes anyway.

There are only 3 things that I know about men 1) For the most part, they don't go shopping just to browse with no intentions.  They have something in mind that they want to buy.  2) When they know what they want,  they buy it.  If they need a new pair of black slacks and they see a pair of black slacks that they like, fit well and are the right price, they buy it.  No need to go looking around for something better.  3) Men don't do closure.  Ever.  When they are done, they are done.

Since these are the only 3 things that I know for sure, I take this little knowledge and apply it to EVERY dealing I have with the opposite sex.  I have nothing else to go on and we all know they don't speak the same language as women, so if they are telling me something different I don't understand it anyway.  LOL.   So what does this mean in relationships & dating??  How does this knowledge help and guide me??   Let me break it down.....

1)For the most part, they don't go shopping just to browse with no intentions.  They have something in mind that they want to buy - when he approaches you he knows what he wants from you; how you respond determines if he puts you back on the shelf, tries you on, or uses you for a different purpose.  Whether he's looking at you for a good time girl, some one he wants to get to know, or one night stand he has a plan in mind before he even asks your name.  So don't be mad at end of  conversation if he doesn't ask for your number, it wasn't going anywhere anyway.  And PLEASE don't offer him a sheet of paper & pen when he doesn't ask for it.....just THIRSTY.

2) When they know what they want,  they buy it.  If they need a new pair of black slacks and they see a pair of black slacks that they like, fit well and are the right price, they buy it.  No need to go looking around for something better - if he does not want to be in a serious relationship, I don't care how wonderful you are, its not happening.  He's not looking for slacks altho you are a really nice black pair.  On the other hand, when he is ready to settle down he looks around him for who can fit the bill and claims her. i know, i know...I hear ya and have heard it all before  "what was so wrong with me, i woulda been with him? what's so special about her over me?'  now, ignoring any crazy issues that you have that she doesn't...nothing.  you are the same.  her timing was just better......which leads me to my final certain truth......

3) Men don't do closure.  Ever.  When they are done, they are done - you will never know what was wrong with you because he won't tell you.  maybe it was your fault, maybe it wasn't.  maybe he was just scared to love you, but I doubt it.  maybe you could have done something differently, maybe not.   the only thing you can do is reflect on the choices and decisions you made and move on....trying to figure him out is just wasting your time, because you're probably wrong.  LOL

Now I know you are asking, has this advice and knowledge helped me in any way with the opposite sex?  no, not really.  LOL.  but it hasn't hurt me either, so that's gotta count for something.  so what compelled me to write about this today?  i heard it on the radio this morning that men don't do closure and I laughed and said hallelujah!!!  THIS is the one truth that women and men are on TOTAL opposite sides of the spectrum.   Personal experience:  I have never had a guy "break up" with me.  I know, that $h*t cray, but its true.  usually become distant and communication slows down and becomes inconsistent.  no big argument, no cheating fiasco, just a funny feeling that things have changed.  so then I stop calling and give them space and before you know it, its been a month and we haven't seen or spoken to each other.  this "closure" thing has never happened.  LOL.

So, the next time you go shopping with your boo thang.....observe his actions : )

Random Thoughts

1.  Why are contacts so expensive?  They are disposable and fragile, should not cost that much.  But wearing glasses ALL the time gets on my nerves.  Glad I have an HSA.

2.  So Dr. Conrad Murray had 7 children by 6 different women, and 4 girlfriends.....whom he started calling at 9:30 AM the day of Michael Jackson's death..... the player game starts that early? 9:30, really??

3.  Who ever thought of burpees, sliders and battle ropes should be shot, even if they are already dead.  i hate those exercises

4.  How are you & your buddy in prison, but you hooking him up with this chic on visitation day? how do you know her?  why is she having a blind date at the prison?  WTH?

5.  Finger waves are out and are never coming back.....hate to tell all these women running around with them still in their hair....its just inappropriate and sad if you are under the age of 65 with finger waves

6.  Gets slightly irritated with natural haired women who criticize us unnaturals.....especially when they have natural hair and unnatural everything else......excessively smoking, excessively dranking, raw dogging with natural hair..

7.  Can not stop laughing at T.O. in them boy shorts underwear...maybe that's why no one came to his workout session

8.  I LOVE the webisodes of awkward black girl........."rap and poetry had a baby named spoken word.  I wish I could abort that baby"

9. Jim Harbough is a THUG...who woulda thunk it?  Carl Thomas is a THUG too...how can you sing R&B love songs and be thuggish ? .....doesn't go together

10.  I'm officially old...went to a house party & they had a fog machine and dimmed lights....I couldn't see a THING...& wanted them to cut music down

When one door closes, another opens. But what do you DO in the hallway?

Whenever you go thru a setback in life, people always say "things will work out for the best", "what's meant to be will be", "gotta go thru a test to get a testimony" and my favorite "when one door closes, another one opens"  And I'm not making light or fun of any of these statements but they all leave something out.  What do you DO in the hallway?  Ok, I can accept that there will be setbacks and such, but as I'm going thru the transition, what do I do to prepare for what's next?  So, you know I developed a Top Ten : ) ; ) : )

1.  Thoroughly clean your house.  It will help de-clutter your mind and give you a sense of clarity
2.  Volunteer to help others.  Helps put things in perspective.
3.  Travel.  Even if its just to a quaint B&B 2 hrs away, go see some place new
4.  Call family/friends you haven't heard from in a while.  Just because : )
5.  Take a class.  computer, language, etc.... Keep your mind sharp and expand skills
6.  Look at yourself naked....may seem weird but start to appreciate everything about YOU
7.  Complete a beauty regimen....be it pedi/mani, facial, shopping, alterations...do something vain for you
8.  Walk...or any other exercise that  you enjoy doing...frees the mind to reflect and plan
9.   Do something BOLD! doesn't have to be jumping out of a plane, maybe it's just going to a concert alone
10. Drink a little wine : )  Just because

Thanks Jan Hill..What do you DO in the Hallway?