FAMILY

Not trying to be controversial or offensive, but I learned in the 5th grade that there are numerous definitions of "family" held by different cultures.  And that my generation is challenging that definition even more.  Let me explain.

I changed schools in the 5th grade.  My elementary school was forced to close its doors because of the rising costs to keep it in operation, so several classmates and I went to an elementary school several miles up the road.  Let me be clear, we INTEGRATED this school.  There were some AA students, but when we enrolled in the year 1990, we more than doubled the AA population.  I made new friends pretty easily and quickly adapted to my new school with ease.  So did the rest of my classmates.  Until this time, I had only been in school with other students that looked like me and came from my neighborhood, but quickly learned the benefit of being exposed to different people from all walks of life.  Great learning experience.  But the biggest lesson I learned that sticks with me today is the concept of FAMILY.   

I grew up with a large family.  My household wasn't large, but I considered more than the people who lived with me to be my immediate family.  I had 2 parents and a brother who lived in the same residence, but I had another brother, an aunt, my grandmother and grandfather, another aunt and 2 cousins who lived elsewhere whom I included in my immediate family number.  The summers and  weekends were spent at both of my grandmother's houses where I visited aunts and uncles and tons of cousins.  I even had play cousins, cousins of cousins, people I called aunt and uncle who weren't any kind of kin to me, and friends of family.  (By the way...does any other race have "play cousins?"  I mean I know the concept exists, but does anyone else call them "play cousins?")  But what I learned was that not everyone viewed family the same way I did.  A lot of people considered family members in the household, grandmother and grandfather and possibly an aunt or uncle or two to be family.  That's it.  That was a completely foreign concept to me.  Maybe that's why they had less drama...haha!

But even now, as I am growing older, the concept of family continues to change.  Since I live 10 hrs from my hometown, I don't get to see my family very often.  Christmas, any big family events and summer break are the only times I get to see them.  So my definition and concept of family now includes friends and their kids.  And that's all good.  I believe how we are raised determines our concept of family and current situations cause us to examine or re-define that concept.  And neither is right or wrong, its just how it is. 

However, there are some definitions/principle about family that I hold steadfast........I understand these may not the case for the majority of people, but I can't operate any other way :)

• No such thing as "half" sister or brother......we are whole people so I'm going to claim all of you
• Step kids are your kids too....each case has to be determined what role and influence you play, but that's YOUR family too, and should be treated and loved as such
• Regardless of whether your kids live with you full time or not, they must have a "spot" in your house; if you have a 3 bedroom house and 2 are guest rooms and no "spot" for your child, then SHAME on you (esp if they live in same city)
•  Once you're in the family, always family.  Might not be together or as close anymore, but the title of "family" still remains
• Past kids and parents, the pre-fix of step goes out the window......step-niece, step-grandmother, step cousin etc.......just too much.  You're family, no need for the step title

5 Finger Rule

Everyone is talking about the 90 day Rule......I'm sure you have heard all about it from Joan of "Girlfriends" and more recently Steve Harvey's book and movie "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man"  It is the premise that a lady should wait 90 days before sleeping with a man in order to get to know him on a real level.  There have been various thoughts to this practice;  from "I'm not waiting that long" and "we're both grown, so what's the point" to "90 days is a fair amount of time to wait to see if my hormones and my heart are in alliance"  It has caused quite a stir and fostered deep conversations and debate.  I have talked about this very same subject not only with my girlfriends, but also with guys who want to share their perspective. Since I am always creating random top 10 lists, I was asked if I had a 90 day rule lists or such.  Actually, nope, never really thought about it that way. But I do have a five finger rule...or basically 5 things that MUST be met before any lady should talk of intimacy.  Here goes:

1) He should know your last name
2) 3 Outside date before any house dates
3) Must visit his place before your address is given
4) You must dance together
5) "Sleep" together before you "sleep" together

So....que voulez-vous dire veuillez?  What do you mean, please? Well let's break it down.

#1) He should know your last name.  It's simple really.  In an effort to get to know more about you, your last name should come up.  You have to put your full name on any official document so one would expect that knowing a last name would be the most common of knowledge to obtain.  But....you KNOW guys.  Has anyone ever tried to kiss you and you felt like it was waaaay too forward and too early?  Like no magic was there and you hadn't even had the opportunity to figure out if you liked him?  Try this trick, it's AMAZING how often it works.  When he is going in for the kiss, slyly pull back and smile, and ask him, "hey, do you know my last name?"  Maybe its just me, but you can't possibly like ME if you haven't even taken the time to learn my name.  NO kiss for you :)  My thinking is, if he hasn't  listened or inquired enough about you to figure out your last name, he's probably not trying to build anything with you. 

#2) 3 outside dates before any house dates.  Three AT A MINIMUM. This is a VERY important rule.  I have heard many women say that men don't know how to court anymore.  That they don't ask to go out nor do they plan ahead when wanting to see you. So here's what usually happens......he suggests that he'll come over to your spot, bring some food and ya'll can watch a movie together.  Cute right!   Not really.  Hear me out, if ya'll have been out on several dates and already have established a repoire, this IS cute.  But if ya'll have only gone to a movie and out to dinner and its been 2 weeks, this is not cute at ALL.  Why is that, you ask?  Because it creates a false sense of familiarity.  It's in your comfort zone, it's private and intimate and after one evening it feels like you have known him forever.  HA!  And now, since house dates are in the picture, it's very easy to revert to.  Because he can call you up at anytime and say he wants to come over.  No real plan or forethought.  No dressing up.  Just cool and casual.  Here is the issue:  You have NOT know him forever.  And because you are in a private place, you kiss longer, harder and more places than you would had he taken you out.  So you end up having sex earlier than you planned or imagined.  Now you're mad because ALL he does is come by the house....you NEVER go anywhere anymore.....and you NEVER know when he will be available.  It's a wait and see approach.  So how does 3 outside dates help prevent that?  It MAKES him court you....at least for a little while.  The false sense of familiarity doesn't appear so early.  Here are some additional insights you will learn during these 3 dates:  Are they in prime time? - weekend nights.  Are they planned? - you know Wednesday that he wants to see you Friday....might not know what ya'll are doing, but he's putting his bid in for your time.  How close are they? if he wants to see you, he'll make time......shouldn't take a month to do 3 dates   Is he trying to skip the 3 date rule because he is so "busy?"  Really?  You're that busy? You would not believe how many undesirables you can weed out with this rule, as simple as it seems :) ........But at some point, house dates should enter the picture.  Which brings me to the next rule.....

#3) Must visit his place before your address is given. This is sooo paramount I will say it again:  Must visit his place before your address is given.  Men are MUCH more guarded with their personal space and life than women are.  It's that nurturing part of us that wants to take people in our house, feed them entertain them, etc...  Men don't necessarily have that.  Their man castle is just that...THEIR castle.  So they are cautious about just letting anybody in there.  If you can let him into your body, he SURELY can let you into his house.  While there, you know what to do :)  See who's name is on the magazine subscriptions......look at his pictures......does he have a roommate..... if he has kids, do they have a spot in his house....... BTW, very random observance, but single men under the age of 33ish have very little furniture.  Nice couch, nice bed, awesome TVs and the rest is non existent.  LOL  Plus, men are very worried that women will turn up at their house unannounced...and although I know you would never do that, this just puts it in the back of his mind.  Haha.  So basically, the first house dates should be at his place.  This way, if you're not ready, you don't have to make up excuses why he should leave, you just get up and go!!!    And trust me, if he has too many excuses as to why you can't go to his house, there is someone else living there or has open access. 

#4) You must dance together.  This is a weird one.  Dancing is not really meant to be literal, I just use it as an example.  A guy once told me that he didn't invite the girl he was seeing at the moment to an event because she may have wanted to slow dance and that was just too much.  I was FLOORED.  I started asking questions and derived that the issue was one of two things; or possibly both.  1) He didn't like to slow dance, period.  2) Dancing was too intimate.   The reason this baffled me so is because they were sleeping together, but DANCING was too intimate?  Seemed crazy to me, but that's because I'm a girl.  Dancing requires being held, looking into each other's eyes and being comfortable doing it.  That's not necessarily needed to sleep with some one.  Or possibly, he wasn't big on dancing, made him uncomfortable.  Either way, this sent off a signal to me.  He has to be willing to do something out of his comfort zone simply because YOU want to.  Be it dancing, seeing the most romantic girly movie, having dinner with you and 3 of your girlfriends........SOMETHING that's intimate.  Because when he sleeps with you and the crazy emotional switch cuts on, you want to know that he at least likes you enough to watch "The Notebook" with you. 

#5) "Sleep" together before you "sleep" together.  Just to know that he can and will.  I wouldn't suggest you test this too soon or too often though........


Side notes:
I mention to check & see if he has a space in his home for his kids i.e. toys, playroom, bed because if he does not, it could spell that he has baby mama drama or deadbeat dad syndrome.
I also mention checking the name on the magazine subscriptions because men don't typically have issues of Jet, Ebony at the house. Some one may have left it there.

Hoes be Winning...........

Hoes be winning........It definitely seems that way sometimes.  I read an article in a fairly respectable publication that said 2011 was the "Year of the Hoe".  They had a great year.  I surely heard all thru 2011 that "hoes be winning" and witnessed this phenomenon with my own eyes.  Which caused me to ponder two crucial questions:  If hoes are winning, who is losing?  and What are hoes doing to win? 

So let's break this down.....

First, what do we mean by "hoes be winning?"  The simplest way I can break it down to everyday terms is this:  when you see the girl who has a tried and true reputation of sleeping with numerous men, dressing a tad bit inappropriately and not always acting in a ladylike manner, gets in a RELATIONSHIP with a GOOD guy.  THAT'S "hoes be winning."  For all my ladies out there, I know what you start thinking.....believe me, I have done it too.  You say, "she's cool and all, but a RELATIONSHIP? REALLY?" You start to question everything you have been taught in life. Clearly, it's the end days.  And I am not saying that just because a woman has had several sexual partners and wears tight clothes that she is not worthy of a good relationship with a good guy.  It's just that I have been taught since I was a wee girl that men don't like those type of girls for long.  They may have fun with them but they won't commit to them.  They are not going to take that type of girl out in public.  So when I started to see this happen on more than one occasion I started to agree that "hoes be winning"

So if hoes are winning, then who is losing?

Interesting question.....the obvious answer is single independent women.  But let's narrow and focus down just a bit.  The biggest losers are the women who intentionally go places specifically trying to meet men and have no luck.  They still wind up spending Saturday night with the girls and lamenting on FB and twitter about how special they are and complaining that there are no good guys out there and getting WAAAAYYY to excited about the possibility of a lunch date.  NOW, I'm not calling them lonely heffas or nothing.......I'm just saying.  LOL! 

So what are hoes doing to win?

Great question.....the obvious answer is easy access to the goodies.  But again, let's narrow and focus down a bit.  The real answer is they have a cost for entry.  Now do not get me wrong, I am not talking about prostitution or gold diggers, I mean a set list of requirements for her to even entertain the idea of getting with some one.  Novel concept ain't it :)  SHE MAKES A BARTER.  If she wants to go out on a date, she doesn't fidget or pause about asking him to do so....if he wants to continue to spend time with her, he will.  If not, she has other options and will keep it moving.  No love lost. 

So what's the BIG difference?
The big difference is that the "loser" is so afraid of losing the she doesn't even put herself in a position to win.  She wants to look available but not desperate, sexy but not slutty, classy but not bougie, valuable but not high maintenance.  That's a LOT of work.  Whereas hoes believe they can get what they want.  Now I'm not saying to adopt a hoes value system, but adopting a TRUE mindset of asking for what you want.  Because I have learned, whether I say it out loud or not, I STILL want it.  And I only end up disappointed and upset if I don't get it.  So I either have to stop wanting it, or ask for it. 

By the way, I don't know what I'm talking about half the time so take my rambling with a grain of salt.  I haven't had a man since Skip was a pup.  LOL

Test Drive - Just Thinking Out Loud

I have a secret to tell you......Gloria Jean is not my first choice.  Shhhh.....don't tell her though.  Gloria Jean is my car, a 2010 steel grey Ford Fusion.  She now has 61,000 miles, a missing rim, a cracked rim, a waxed passenger seat and a chewed out front ventilation.  You may look at her and think she is not the most attractive girl, or the most comfortable, and gets too loud and agitated when pulling small hills, but she has a hidden beauty.  SHE IS FREE!  Maintenance, insurance, gas, car washes.....ALL FREE. For the low fee of $110 a month, I get unlimited use of her.  I can't personalize or customize anything on her, but other than that, her use is at my discretion.  She has gotten me over some tough roads, some long rides and great times.  But she is not my first choice.  She's uncomfortable.  You can feel everything in her.  She is loud, when there is really no reason to be.  She can never keep all her shoes on (rims). 

I have secretly been lusting after different options....like a BMW 328i, Volvo S60 and Infiniti G25.  I find myself during the day looking these cars up online, learning about them, reading consumer reports, estimating payments.  I have set a time aside to go test drive and inquire about them. I kinda want one.  But I know that makes no sense.  Why would I go test drive something that I know I don't need?  Because I know what will happen... I will fall in love and want to get it.  Which lead me to thinking about how that happens in relationships and crushes and such.

Have you ever test driven a guy?  You know, KNEW he wasn't the right fit for you, all the signs were there but you tried anyway.  Only to fall to deep and not know how to end it.....Yep, I've been there.  But why do we do it?  It's not because he is so cute, or he is so rich, or his car is so nice.  NO, all of that is superficial. We may gawk and fantasize about those things, but that's not what makes us test drive.  What make us test drive is because he does the ONE thing that the last guy didn't.  He compliments us when ole dude never told you that you looked nice. He's tall when ole dude didn't want you to wear your heels.  He's into rap music when ole dude thought it was just noise and called you immature.  And that's fine.  You realize that those things are important to you and make a difference in your relationship.  But you know you want more. You NEED more.  And this guy can't or won't fulfill those needs.  You know you're test driving a car that you can't afford or can't have....but if only.

Just thinking out loud......

I'm S.E.X.I and I Know It

I have been "trying" to lose 10 lbs for 3 years now.  10 lbs, that's always the magical number.  For background I have always been a small girl.  OK, I was SKIN-TY.  Stayed that way thru high school and college. Barely broke 100 lbs.  But I was not healthy.  I'm not saying because I was small I wasn't healthy.  I'm actually not 100% sure that the 2 were related. But I was stayed sick starting at around age 16 and didn't know why.   I started suffering from terrible migraines.  I was always tired.  Walking around the neighborhood was a challenge for me.  My cycles were highly irregular. I couldn't get enough sleep. It became so bad that often times my headaches wouldn't stop until I vomited.  I was at my worst point health wise after I graduated from Xavier University.  I decided then to tell a doctor about it to determine what was wrong with me.  Although all my normal check ups stated I was fine, I knew this was not normal.  After explaining my symptoms to my doctor, she was able to quickly identify my issue.  Long story short, my hormones were all out of control and I was not making them any better by my everyday actions. No excercise, skipping meals, not taking vitamins etc... So, I started walking, taking birth control and started EATING.  That's right EATING.  Certain amount of carbs, protein and vitamins essential to my health.  Within days I started to feel better.  Since then I RARELY have unexplained headaches, let alone migraines anymore.  I was feeling great.  My skin started to glow.  I played girls flag football.  I tried all different kinds of foods like sushi, Carribbean food, all the good stuff.  Life was lovely. I had never felt so good.  UNTIL.....that's right UNTIL.  Until I went home and family looked at me like I was as large as the Goodyear blimp.  It made me self conscious.  Because in my mind, I looked fine.  Sure I had gained some weight but I wasn't aware how much.  I never weighed myself, didn't own a scale.  What was all this fuss about?  When I returned to Charlotte I purchased a scale at the Target on Rea Rd and it read that I weighed 135 lbs. GASP!  Obviously that was too large for a 25 yr old 5'4" woman. Right? It must be cause my folks couldn't stop talking about it.  I couldn't let this happen.  I had to get help.  I had to lose 10 lbs.....IMMEDIATELY!!  So I signed up for Jenny Craig.  Because true, my eating habits were a mess!!  I didn't cook, ate out a lot, and consumed a lot of calories by what I drank.  But Jenny Craig didn't really work for me (at the time, it has now since drastically changed) because it did not allow my set standard of protein each day.  Regardless of my weight, I knew I wanted to stay on the path my doctor had set for me, just cut out the non essentials. I tried a couple of other fad diets that I didn't stick to or didn't work.  After that I just convinced myself that my family was just shocked at the "new" me.  They didn't mean that I was too heavy, just that they were not used to seeing me that size.  I got over it and went on about my merry way.  UNTIL...yep, UNTIL.  Until it was time for my 10 yr high school reunion.  Wow, 10 yrs I had to be right for that.  In my mind, I needed to lose 10 lbs and then I would be a brick house, YEAH.   So I enlisted the help of a trainer, who I will affectionately call Trainer B.  I told him my goal and he just looked at me.  Didn't give me a time line when I would get there, didn't tell me to cut any food out or anything of the sort.  He just said ok.  For the next 6 months I worked out with Trainer B 2 to 3 times weekly for 30 minutes.  I couldn't believe the progress I was making.  I felt WONDERFUL!!  I had so much energy, had gained so much confidence.  I was truly coming out of my shell.  I still wasn't looking at the scale, my eating habits were better, but still not good.  At the end of the 6 months right before my reunion, I asked "Hey, we haven't measured or taken my weight.  Where is my progress?"  Because I KNEW I had lost those 10 lbs.  Had to.  Before we did, he asked me did I notice any changes or had anyone else noticed.  YES.  Some one I casually knew sent me an email saying he saw me in the gym and I was looking good, keep doing what I was doing.  Several ladies asked me what exercises did I do for my arms without me even saying I worked out.  But most of all, my ENERGY and STRENGTH.  I was a beast!!  Then came the moment of truth, the scale.  145!!!  WTF?? How could this be?  I GAINED weight.  Did I really just gain 10 lbs?  I was a big mixed bag of emotions.  But then, he took my measurements.  ALL WERE DOWN (that needed to be :) my waistline, my body fat %, my shoulders, all were down.   I was confused.  How could this be but I gained 10 lbs?  Something must be wrong with me....those damn hormones again.  But I accepted it and went on to my reunion and had a blast!!  I didn't work out with Trainer B anymore, how could he know what he was doing?  I gained 10 lbs......which means I didn't work out at all.  NOTHING.  And I started to feel it.  I was anxious, tired, ill feeling and my clothes weren't fitting anymore.  Oh NO!  So I called him back up and said I need to get back on the program.  My goal this time was to be strong and small. YOu know, lose 10lbs, 26 waist, low body fat.....YEAH, you know brickhouse.  My 30th bday was approaching.  I had to be ready.  And as I was making a list of the 30 things I've learned by 30, something hit me.  A HUGE revelation.  It almost took my breath away.  Here it is:

At some point in my life, I was super fine- but I didn't realize it LOL  Now I will tell myself everyday that I am super fine - cuz obviously I don't know when it happens

I had been chasing this mythical 10 lbs.  And what's so ironic is that 10 lbs ago, I was chasing 10 lbs.  Would it ever stop? So, 135 lbs was too big? 145 was too big?  What is the right weight?  Did I need to lose 10 or 20?   I realized that I will always be chasing this dream of body perfection.  When I look at the mirror or the scale, I will always focus on what is wrong vs. what is right.  If I just had a six pack, if my booty didn't droop, if I didn't have so much girth......and if if was a fifth, we'd all be drunk.  When the truth is, yes there are things I can improve about my body, but my major improvement needed to be with my body image. I started re-inventing how I look at myself;

My body is strong. My body is healthy. I have a great smile, makes even the crazy people wanna talk to me.  I naturally have breasts that people pay good money for.  My shoulders and upper arms are ridiculously toned when I flex.  I think I am a super cute height for a girl.  My body is strong. My body is healthy.  I am not at high or moderate risk for blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, cholesterol, etc.   My skin auto corrects itself fairly quickly.  I have very soft skin, especially on and under my shoulders and arms.  My body is strong. My body is healthy.


So am I still trying to lose weight?  Yes and no.  I strength train 2 to 3 times a week with trainer B, I run/walk occasionally, I take Zumba class 1 to 2 times a week, I try to swim in the summer.  I am working on giving my body the things it needs to work well, like nutritious foods and water and rest.  But I do not and will not diet.  I still eat dessert.  I still have a glass of wine with the girls.  I just do these things in moderation and try to get better everyday.  If this equates to 10 lbs, GREAT!  But I know doing what is best for my body and my health will always lead to me being S.E.X.I.

strong exactly as intended
sassy exactly as intended
smart exactly as intended

Cinco de Mayo

  Cinco de Mayo is holiday time, holiday time, holiday time. Cinco de Mayo is holiday time in MEXICO!!!    Every since that episode of Girlfriends where Joan dresses up as a Mexican peasant girl/General Zaragoza  and performs a song and dance for residents at a senior citizens home, I have been a fan of Cinco de Mayo.  Honestly, I love any reason to celebrate and a holiday where the margarita is the keystone beverage, I am ALL in.  So this year I decided to do a 3 day celebration.  Here is how I celebrated:

Thursday – “Happy Hour w/Friends Fiesta”    After work a group of friends and I gathered at Sullivan’s, a popular spot in Charlotte, and sat out on the patio to enjoy the specials.  I HIGHLY recommend the salmon salad & Red Over Heels martini.  The mix of fresh field greens, grilled salmon, feta or bleu cheese, candied pecans and vinaigrette dressing topped off with a refreshingly sweet martini for the total price of $15 cannot be beat.  They have a great menu on Thursdays at the bar or on the patio and half price martinis all night.  Other popular choices are the burger and bleu cheese meatballs.  They feature a live jazz band, have a spacious covered patio and great atmosphere.  I would suggest early arrival to secure a table because it gets crowded fast.  Or you could take the late shift once the crowd thins a little.  Just be a little patient with the wait staff…..It gets very busy out there. 

This particular Thursday was a lite night.  My usual “friends” were there…..Rick Ross look alike who tried to kidnap me a few months back, old man who pledged with my uncle, and my buddy from “Babunda”.  Now I have a question:  I am not a geography scholar, only took a semester of it in high school and am terrible at reading a map.  But on what atlas is 20 minutes outside of Birmingham considered lower Alabama?  And if that is where you are from, wouldn’t you know that’s not considered lower Alabama?  See, this is the foolishness that I run across on a daily basis.  Why was he even talking to us?  You know what, I can answer that question…He was talking to us because we were a table full of beautiful women.  The real question is, why was I responding to him?  I know better.

Friday – “Girls Night In Margarita Madness”      Friday night I hosted a small gathering of girlfriends for dinner.  The menu consisted of spiced chicken, mango habanero fish and beef tacos. For appetizers I served stuffed jalapenos and chips with queso.  Total prep time took 45 minutes.  Mexican is always a great option for a quick after work meal.  Plenty of fresh vegetables and sauteed meat make it a perfect choice for entertaining a large group of people.  Add margaritas and wine to that, and you are guaranteed a good time.  And with these ladies, the conversation is always lively and knowledgeable.  I learned 5 things Friday night:

1)Tuck & Roll is always 2^nd move after being pushed into a fight  2)You have to throw down a challenge for men with thick lips   3)Hit  ‘em in the face! Hit ‘em in the face   4)Once a group of men co-sign a bad idea, reason and common sense disappear    5)You get a nickname until you are verified

Saturday – “Cinco de Mayo”   We attended a day party at Club Phoenix and had a BLAST!!!  I don’t know what she put in those margaritas, but they were delicious J  I like day parties because it is a much more laid back and relaxed atmosphere as opposed to parties at night.  You don’t have to be so dressed up or uptight.  But it does bring up the question, what is appropriate day party attire?  Actually anything goes!!  I would leave the party dresses at home, but jeans and cute tops, maxi and sundresses, and hemmed shorts are all winners.  The party dresses are just a bit too much during the day.  And white shoes are off limits.  PERIOD.  I’m not talking about tennis shoes or sandals, but any other type of white shoes = country.

I'm Scared to Commit........to a paint color

Choosing the right paint colors for your home can be a challenging and seemingly permanent task.  I know….It took me 3 yrs to pick out the color scheme for my townhome.  But I have learned a few tips and steps to help anyone else who may also be scared to “commit”

My first piece of advice is to take a picture of the room you are painting to bring with you as you are looking at paint samples.  Pick an underlying color from the furniture in the room or focus on a bold color in the pattern.  If the colors and fabrics in the room are predominately one color, try a contrasting color for the wall. 

My second piece of advice is to look at the paint color in natural light.  Colors can have a vastly different effect first thing in the morning than when you come home in the evening.  Decide the “temperature” of the room.  Orange, red and pinks are considered warm colors while violets, greens and blues are cool.

My third piece of advice is neutral does not always equal white.  Gold, silver and brown tones can add a sense of warmth and coordinate with everything.  Also, choose 2 to 3 neutral tones for your home to alternate colors for different rooms.

My last piece of advice is that paint is not permanent.  Try painting just one wall of a room for contrast. Experiment with a bold color you love.  If you don’t like it, choose again!