I clearly remember one 4th of July my mother left early that morning to get the grill started at her sister's house for the festivities of the day. My Daddy and I did not want to get up that early so we hung out at home for a little longer. As it was nearing time to go, my Daddy comes to my room and asks me where the iron is.....perplexing question?? Now let me explain something to you. Everything in our house had a special place and it was always to be returned back to its special place. The iron and ironing board were ALWAYS in the closet in the laundry room. It had been there for at least 4 yrs (as long as we'd been in the house) so this question puzzled me. Was he saying that the iron was not in its usual place and it had to have been me who moved it, because of course my mother would have put it back. But no, he was asking because in at least 4 years he NEVER used the iron or had cause to know where it was. This was an epiphany moment for me. My mother did EVERYTHING for my Daddy. He went to work and she took care of the rest. I kind of chuckled and asked him did he want me to iron his shirt for him. He passed me the shirt and said thanks!!
There were a few times out of the year when my mother would go to conferences and conventions and it would be just my Daddy and me at the house. She would cook dinner for those days before she left and give me instructions how to finish preparing it for my Daddy. Always told me to make sure I didn't cook his eggs too hard for breakfast. Apparently, I still cook eggs to hard for her taste. : )
She firmly believed that this was her duty as a wife. To take care of her husband and family. How dare these women not feed their husband and kids a healthy meal? How dare these women run around so busy with their own interests and not help their husbands and kids? Tragedy. She believed this so much that she instilled this into my home keeping habits eaarly. My daily chores were to wash the dishes, clean my bathroom and bedroom and empty the trash. My weekly chores were to mop all the floors, do all the vacuuming and dusting and wash, iron and put away my clothes. Which is all well and good. I was pretty good at doing my chores.....but not according to her standards. For example, I didn't see the point in emptying my trash can EVERYDAY....if there was only a little trash in it, what was the point? But she would often tell me "your husband is going to leave you.....especially if he comes from a nice clean family" She would also tell me that about how I kept my clothes. I wasn't as organized and neat with putting my clothes away and she would say "no man is going to stay with you if you don't keep your room better.....especially if he comes from a nice clean family" I remember thinking, my marriage is past doomed if a few t-shirts left on the dresser prompts him to leave. LOL. And she had this thing that all my weekly chores had to be done Saturday morning. No sleeping in for me.....get up and do those chores before 10:00. What kind of lady would let her house stay in that condition? LOL.
She had firm ideas about being a lady and what that entailed. She felt the same way about self preservation. It didn't matter if you were going somewhere or not, you needed to be dressed and presentable. She had 2 pairs of jeans that she didn't buy until she was in her 40's. LOL. And she only wore those to work outside mostly. She tried to instill that in me early also. She did not believe in spending a lot of money on "slum" clothes, as she called them. Dresses, skirts with pleats and church outfits are where she placed the $$$. I had to use my own money for the rest. I remember in jr. high school a couple of people thought I was sanctified because I wore dresses all the time. LOL. She said that little girls who wore too many pants.....well, never mind. But it is HILARIOUS!!! I got my hair done every 3 weeks like clockwork, same time she went. She still goes to Miss Josie to this day.....25 yrs now. As I grew older, she stressed the difference between a woman and a lady. She exuded lady hood. She wore hats to every special occasion, perfectly matching her suit. She still gets on me about not wearing a slip. Who wears a slip nowadays? LMAO. She feels that a lady should have a well stocked kitchen for entertaining. Her Christmas present for me every year is something for my kitchen. She has definitely passed down to me her beauty junkie habit. We both love perfume and new face cleansers and moisturizers. I'm also a sucka for body washes and body scrubs. She is the one who has me addicted to this $30 lip gloss. SMH. She thinks I dress weird because I dont wear dress slacks and a suit everyday, but every now and then she compliments an outfit. She always loves my earrings and shoes although she says I will get vericose veins if I don't come out of the high heels soon.
Whenever she comes to visit my house, she always makes a comment about how I keep my place. Surprisingly she says I am very clean, but unorganized. Which is true.....I still leave a couple of shirts on the dresser and papers on the kitchen isle. She always wants to "help" me find a home for my random stuff. I always take her to dinner or shopping or ANYWHERE else than have her help me clean. Don't want to hear all the advice. Hehe. I definitely can't take her advice on men. Its just too much for me, LOL! She is not pressuring me to get married or anything like that, but she definitely has her "signs" of who I should and shouldn't date......but that's another blog. And she always makes a comment of how much wine and acutriments I own.......
But anyways, I know this is a very random posting with my scattered thoughts in no particular order, but here is my point. My mother had a very traditional view of who a wife and lady should be and what she should do. Many would look to her today as the role model for how they think they would want their wife or mother of their children to be. I give it to her, she was good. She worked for many years, was active in her sorority and alumni organization and held the home front down. She tried to raise me to have these same thoughts and values...and a lot has rubbed off on me. I still don't empty the garbage everyday, but I do pretty good. In my mind, I would do things a bit differently if I were married, but here is one thing I can say for her and why in her position I would strive to be just like her.....SHE WAS MARRIED TO MY DADDY
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