Hey Ya'll! I know I know.....it has been a LONG time, I shouldn't have left you :) But the summer has been incredibly busy and I just haven't felt like writing. But that's not to say that I didn't learn anything or have mind blowing revelations, I just didn't know how or wasn't ready to reveal them to you yet. But after seeing Beyonce, Maze & Bobby Rush in concert(not at the same time), getting turnt up at Mam-Maw's 80th birthday party, the Harper Family Reunion and a girlfriends getaway in Charleston, S.C. I have several questions......Of course I have my own opinions, but I want to know what ya'll think too......all 4 of you :) LOL!
1. Is God trying to tell me to take one of these old men up? I mean, what else could it be? Now I have known since age 20 that old men LOVE me, and have come to accept it, but to say it's my destiny.....that's too much. But I believe God is trying to tell me something, and I hope I am not hearing him correctly. Let me explain to you why; I have countless stories of being in situations where the oldest guy in the room will find me and follow me and approach me but it has become more intensified lately. In the past 30 days, my ratio of age appropriate advances to older gentlemen is 0 to 5. 0 to 5. I had a man who sat beside me on the plane tell me he was hoping he would get to sit next to me and that he wishes he could come back to Charlotte and take me out, and that he would drop me off at my hotel in Memphis and that he would drive up and take me golfing. Did I mention he was 62???
2. Have you noticed how guys are very comfortable with asking other guys about girls but girls are careful in asking other girls about guys? Let me explain; A group of people can get together and bring friends and mingle. Guys have no problem with asking another guy at the scene "What's up with ole girl?" "Is that you?" "Know anything about the thick one?" and other questions to find out if it's safe to approach her or just to get a little background info. Where as with ladies, or at least my friends, will never ask about a guy at the scene. Why do you think that is? I believe it's because we think by asking about him we may be starting a competition with another girl, or that some one will take the question out of proportion.
3. Do you ever think that you live in an alternate universe? For example, I don't really think I have haters. If I do, they are really quiet but if I read the trends and posts on IG and FB, haters are at an all time high. And everyone has them. Am I missing something? Same thing with men bashing. I may read the occasional FB post tirade about "ain't no good men" and blah, blah, blah, but it's definitely the minority. But if I listen to some comments, this is all you hear women talk about. Who does this? And side chicks? When did they become the new phenomenon to hate on? Who do you know that purposely became a side chick? I feel the same way about women only looking for men $$, women who constantly gossip and spread rumors about their girls, and abrasive dudes.......I mean I KNOW it happens, I hear to many stories about it but it doesn't seem to be normal in my life or group. ??
4. Is it ok that I don't believe in visiting folks in jail? I mean if it was an immediate family member like mom or dad or child, then I would. But cousins, aunts, uncles, old friends....nah. If you wanted to see me you wouldn't have gotten locked up. I guess I might bend depending on the circumstances....but if it's some foolishness.....see you when you get out!! Am I wrong for this? You have to allocate a WHOLE day to see some one in jail, for only a short visit....chile puh-lease!!
5. Has anyone else had the revelation (it happened within the last yr or so.......believe its one of life's over 30 lessons) that you will not restrain yourself so others won't pre-judge you or feel uncomfortable around you? Now I'm not saying to purposefully make others feel out of place, but I'm DONE with not being authentic because of your stereotypes or insecurities. Yes, I like to eat there, it's one of my favorite restaurants. Never asked you to take me there so don't give me the LOOK when I say I like Del Frisco's and Dresslers. I also like hole in the wall Mexican and seafood spots. But I'm not going to act like I don't know about or enjoy nice spots because you think it's putting on airs. Whatever!! And yes, that's a Kate, or a Tory, or an MK. Again, NEVER asked you to support any of my habits so no need to worry about it. I also am an Old Navy and Francessca's FIEND and visit at least twice a month. So if you want to put a label on me before you even get to know me, that's okay with me now. I'm still going to get to know you on a personal level and treat you with kindness and respect. How you feel about me is on you. LOL! And in the past, the weirdest things would get me "classified"...........that I live in Ballantyne, that I have an MBA, that I'm an AKA. Ok, ok......I understand the AKA part :)
6. Will anyone join SA - Shopaholics Anonymous with me if I charter it? I may have a problem. I LOVE shopping a good sale. If it's over 50% off and at one of my favorite stores, you can be assured I'm at least going to LOOK to see if there's something I like. Now I'm not so bad that I have a shopping debt or not paying bills, but I could very well give more to help people, get aggressive in the stock market, save up for a personal car if "THE MAN" acts up or "the REVOLUTION" comes......
7. Who is taking me to their Homecoming weekend? No, I'm serious, I wanna go. My alma mater XU doesn't have a football team so Homecoming is really for the students and significant anniversaries. I guess I could go to Tennessee's homecoming since I did graduate from there as well, but it's not the same.
8. How many break up speeches did you hear before you actually ended it? And what I mean by break up speeches are the significant moments that you ignored that let you know he or she wasn't the one for you. This has become my new line.......watch out, may have a blog about it soon. LOL
9. Why did ABC feel the need to break down the science of twerking? Really? And why were we so appalled at Miley Cyrus twerking? I was appalled that she had on sagging booty shorts, sounded and looked awful, and completely made a fool of herself.......twerking was just a side effect. Many other artists have twerked on that stage and we have said nary a word. Is it because it's Hannah Montana?
10. Why is being bougie considered by most to be a bad thing? LOL! I say this with comedic intent. I consider myself bougie and wave my flag up high. I like nice things, to stay in nice hotels, to read about the lifestyles of the rich and famous. But I don't think I'm "too good" for anything.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
Girlfriends Talk
Ok....so you know how we ladies are? We can turn a 5 minute occurrence into a 2 hr. conversation.....it's just in our nature, generally speaking. But I wanna bring up a couple of observations, proclamations and questions that were ignited by a conversation I had with a girlfriend recently. Nothing deep or any insightful take aways, just some random musings and my thoughts on a particular subject. Humor me :0
1. If every time we go out, you're on the hunt for a dude, I'm not hanging with you anymore. LOL! I'm all for being open to every opportunity and making yourself available but I can't be with you looking thirsty.....just not a good look. AND, I am a horrible wing girl. I'm half blind so I can't tell if he's looking at you or cute, and I will wander off and run my mouth with any random......*shrug*
2. Yes, I am a girly girl and am all excited that you met a cute dude and ya'll have been talking on the phone, but let's limit this story to the 10 min it deserves and MOVE on. Let me know more after ya'll have been on 3 or more dates. Then we can chit chat.
3. So ok, we want to make sure we're dressed appropriately, I understand that. But the most detail needed is cute top and jeans or after work clothes........you should be able to figure out all the rest. Is it ok to wear a dress? if you want to....what about colored jeans? if you want to..... you wearing sandals or heels? i guess so....... And not to be rude, but I am not a fashionista. The dress code I will give is either casual chic, work clothes, formal or dressy. Now I will offer my opinion on appropriateness, accents and shoes and such, but if we're asking long maxi or short sundress....I mean really? does it matter? We're just going out for dinner and drinks.....
4. So he didn't call back.....Ok, he wasn't interested. I am NOT the one to go into a long detailed convo about all the things it could have been, or what you did or what he did. Not if ya'll were just hanging out. Now, if it was something more serious, then I will definitely give the appropriate shoulder to cry on and encouragement. But if he just stopped calling, he wasn't interested. Let's just say "that punk.....don't know what he's missing. Yeah girl!" and MOVE on. Seriously
5. We're having dinner and the WHOLE conversation is about how you need to lose weight and how good men are hard to find.....I'm not eating with you anymore. LOL! And I'm not saying I can't talk about these things. I'm very girly, I can talk about boys with the best of them, but I have other interests and thoughts so I can't spend the WHOLE time talking about it. I mean, can't we talk about trashy reality T.V.? And PLEASE, don't talk to me about dieting and losing weight. Not in a negative way. If you are telling me about your goal and plan, then I'm with ya! I'm your biggest fan and encouragement. But if you're just going to put yourself down, and talk negative about your body....I CAN'T. More than likely I will turn into Dr. Phil and ask you who made you feel like you were not worthy? Turn it into a couch session. LOL
1. If every time we go out, you're on the hunt for a dude, I'm not hanging with you anymore. LOL! I'm all for being open to every opportunity and making yourself available but I can't be with you looking thirsty.....just not a good look. AND, I am a horrible wing girl. I'm half blind so I can't tell if he's looking at you or cute, and I will wander off and run my mouth with any random......*shrug*
2. Yes, I am a girly girl and am all excited that you met a cute dude and ya'll have been talking on the phone, but let's limit this story to the 10 min it deserves and MOVE on. Let me know more after ya'll have been on 3 or more dates. Then we can chit chat.
3. So ok, we want to make sure we're dressed appropriately, I understand that. But the most detail needed is cute top and jeans or after work clothes........you should be able to figure out all the rest. Is it ok to wear a dress? if you want to....what about colored jeans? if you want to..... you wearing sandals or heels? i guess so....... And not to be rude, but I am not a fashionista. The dress code I will give is either casual chic, work clothes, formal or dressy. Now I will offer my opinion on appropriateness, accents and shoes and such, but if we're asking long maxi or short sundress....I mean really? does it matter? We're just going out for dinner and drinks.....
4. So he didn't call back.....Ok, he wasn't interested. I am NOT the one to go into a long detailed convo about all the things it could have been, or what you did or what he did. Not if ya'll were just hanging out. Now, if it was something more serious, then I will definitely give the appropriate shoulder to cry on and encouragement. But if he just stopped calling, he wasn't interested. Let's just say "that punk.....don't know what he's missing. Yeah girl!" and MOVE on. Seriously
5. We're having dinner and the WHOLE conversation is about how you need to lose weight and how good men are hard to find.....I'm not eating with you anymore. LOL! And I'm not saying I can't talk about these things. I'm very girly, I can talk about boys with the best of them, but I have other interests and thoughts so I can't spend the WHOLE time talking about it. I mean, can't we talk about trashy reality T.V.? And PLEASE, don't talk to me about dieting and losing weight. Not in a negative way. If you are telling me about your goal and plan, then I'm with ya! I'm your biggest fan and encouragement. But if you're just going to put yourself down, and talk negative about your body....I CAN'T. More than likely I will turn into Dr. Phil and ask you who made you feel like you were not worthy? Turn it into a couch session. LOL
Breaking Point
Hey Family : )
I know it has been a while since I have updated but nothing was really speaking to me........There was nothing that I just HAD to write about. I was feeling a bit uninspired. But today it hit me........a subject that has been in draft in my inbox for a while, I just didn't have a clearly laid out plan on how to write about it. That subject is: BREAKING POINT
I am usually a very happy and friendly person.....sometimes a bit to my detriment. I can be extremely patient, don't show anger often and try to play peacemaker in tense situations. It's just my personality. So my friends and family are often surprised and even find it comical when I reach my "breaking point" You know what that is: when you have run out of freaks to give.(please excuse my English) When my patience runs out and my efforts for your well-being and feelings is non existent. Not that I am going to do anything to purposely hurt anyone, but when I am at the point that I'm definitely not going out of my way to help nor will I be concerned if my bluntness hurts your feelings .....my BREAKING POINT.
I have discovered that my breaking point is pretty consistent.......that the same situations cause me angst and cause a change in my naturally jovial personality. Wanna know what they are?? Here they go:
1) Taking advantage - While I realize I have a BIG part in this aspect, I am terribly disappointed and put off when some one takes advantage of my kindness. I say I play a big part because I know that I often put myself out there to be used. I will be the first to sign up to help, offer $$, pay for meals and drinks, get nice presents, etc.... But that doesn't mean that I'm supposed to or have to do these things. And when people purposely manipulate because they KNOW I will, it just irks me. Borrowing money with no intention to pay back, cornering me into favors, and getting attitude when I am offering voluntary service..... Don't you hate that? YOU asked me to help you move, but get mad when I have to leave in 4hrs....or YOU owe me money, but get mad when 2 months later I politely ask you status of repayment. SMH
2) Counting my change - I honestly don't know why this one bothers me so.....need to do some praying on it. LOL. Let me explain what "counting my change" is......so you're at the mall with a buddy and you see some fabulous shoes that you MUST have. Your buddy mentions not once, not twice, but several times that she would not buy those shoes because they're too expensive. So ok, that's fine. But she continuously brings it up at other occasions as well. For example, "well you bought those shoes I know you can afford to loan me $20" or "you bought those shoes so I know you can go with me to this restaurant" etc..... Or, some one notices you carrying a designer handbag and incessantly comments how they would NEVER spend that kind of money on something like that. Basically, because you have expendable income to do one thing, you can and SHOULD have expendable income to do other things that are more important in their eyes. OR, you are foolishly spending your money. People, do NOT count my change. Everyone spends their money in different ways and as long as I am not asking you to support my habit, I don't want to hear a surplus of comments....ok? LOL! But seriously, so if you buy a couple of carton of cigarettes and case of beer a week and I buy a handbag for the year, I'M foolishly spending money?? People spend their money on what they want to spend it on. Some people play lotto, some gamble, some cars, some motorcycles and the list goes on and on.....I think we would all be better off if we just concentrated on our own finances and well-being. And furthermore, not everyone has the same expenses so the budget for luxury items will be different for everyone. IJS
I know it has been a while since I have updated but nothing was really speaking to me........There was nothing that I just HAD to write about. I was feeling a bit uninspired. But today it hit me........a subject that has been in draft in my inbox for a while, I just didn't have a clearly laid out plan on how to write about it. That subject is: BREAKING POINT
I am usually a very happy and friendly person.....sometimes a bit to my detriment. I can be extremely patient, don't show anger often and try to play peacemaker in tense situations. It's just my personality. So my friends and family are often surprised and even find it comical when I reach my "breaking point" You know what that is: when you have run out of freaks to give.(please excuse my English) When my patience runs out and my efforts for your well-being and feelings is non existent. Not that I am going to do anything to purposely hurt anyone, but when I am at the point that I'm definitely not going out of my way to help nor will I be concerned if my bluntness hurts your feelings .....my BREAKING POINT.
I have discovered that my breaking point is pretty consistent.......that the same situations cause me angst and cause a change in my naturally jovial personality. Wanna know what they are?? Here they go:
1) Taking advantage - While I realize I have a BIG part in this aspect, I am terribly disappointed and put off when some one takes advantage of my kindness. I say I play a big part because I know that I often put myself out there to be used. I will be the first to sign up to help, offer $$, pay for meals and drinks, get nice presents, etc.... But that doesn't mean that I'm supposed to or have to do these things. And when people purposely manipulate because they KNOW I will, it just irks me. Borrowing money with no intention to pay back, cornering me into favors, and getting attitude when I am offering voluntary service..... Don't you hate that? YOU asked me to help you move, but get mad when I have to leave in 4hrs....or YOU owe me money, but get mad when 2 months later I politely ask you status of repayment. SMH
2) Counting my change - I honestly don't know why this one bothers me so.....need to do some praying on it. LOL. Let me explain what "counting my change" is......so you're at the mall with a buddy and you see some fabulous shoes that you MUST have. Your buddy mentions not once, not twice, but several times that she would not buy those shoes because they're too expensive. So ok, that's fine. But she continuously brings it up at other occasions as well. For example, "well you bought those shoes I know you can afford to loan me $20" or "you bought those shoes so I know you can go with me to this restaurant" etc..... Or, some one notices you carrying a designer handbag and incessantly comments how they would NEVER spend that kind of money on something like that. Basically, because you have expendable income to do one thing, you can and SHOULD have expendable income to do other things that are more important in their eyes. OR, you are foolishly spending your money. People, do NOT count my change. Everyone spends their money in different ways and as long as I am not asking you to support my habit, I don't want to hear a surplus of comments....ok? LOL! But seriously, so if you buy a couple of carton of cigarettes and case of beer a week and I buy a handbag for the year, I'M foolishly spending money?? People spend their money on what they want to spend it on. Some people play lotto, some gamble, some cars, some motorcycles and the list goes on and on.....I think we would all be better off if we just concentrated on our own finances and well-being. And furthermore, not everyone has the same expenses so the budget for luxury items will be different for everyone. IJS
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Ain't Nobody got Time for Dat!!!
This is a very personal list for me..........might not speak to you but some things I just had to express.
Ain't nobody got time for your insecurities........I have enough of my own that I am trying to get over and deal with. Don't project yours on me to the tune of "why are you doing that?" "you're going by yourself?" "how come you don't JUST....?"
Ain't nobody got time for you counting MY change........I admit I like nice things and am a proud flag carrier for the bougie committee but I have NEVER asked you to support any of my habits so don't worry about how much my handbag, shoes, beauty treatments etc cost
Ain't nobody got time for your complaining......I understand the need to vent every now and again, but that constant moaning and whining about EVERYTHING is just annoying
Ain't nobody got time for your religious debates........I am a child of the King and can't help but be amazed and in awe about what He does for me everyday. However, I will not push it down your throat or try to convince you in any way. I just live my life and treat everyone with courtesy and respect and expect you to do the same. I won't share my testimony unless you ask me to
Ain't nobody got time for your concept of family.......when I say she is my mother and he is my brother, that's exactly what I mean. I have no problem and welcome you asking questions to get understanding, but you will not refer to them as "step" or "half" or "fake" or "real" with me. Do that under your breath
Ain't nobody got time for you to use them......I know I put myself out there to be used at times, but when you take advantage and don't have any reciprocation.......just SMH. Thankfully, I have always been given back pressed down, shaken together and running over from other sources :)
Ain't nobody got time for your uncompromising ways.....we can't always get what we want, and as nice as I am, I NEVER coddle. That's too early for you, ok I'll see you when you get there. You don't want to pay that much, ok we'll get together next time. You don't eat any of this food, did you pack a snack? Oh, I'm sorry you'll have to wait.
Ain't nobody got time to wait on you to decide how you feel about me.......to steal the words from Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes (AKA Teddy Pendegrass :) "if you don't know me by now, you will never ever know me" Truth is, you know exactly how you feel!!
Ain't nobody got time for your insecurities........I have enough of my own that I am trying to get over and deal with. Don't project yours on me to the tune of "why are you doing that?" "you're going by yourself?" "how come you don't JUST....?"
Ain't nobody got time for you counting MY change........I admit I like nice things and am a proud flag carrier for the bougie committee but I have NEVER asked you to support any of my habits so don't worry about how much my handbag, shoes, beauty treatments etc cost
Ain't nobody got time for your complaining......I understand the need to vent every now and again, but that constant moaning and whining about EVERYTHING is just annoying
Ain't nobody got time for your religious debates........I am a child of the King and can't help but be amazed and in awe about what He does for me everyday. However, I will not push it down your throat or try to convince you in any way. I just live my life and treat everyone with courtesy and respect and expect you to do the same. I won't share my testimony unless you ask me to
Ain't nobody got time for your concept of family.......when I say she is my mother and he is my brother, that's exactly what I mean. I have no problem and welcome you asking questions to get understanding, but you will not refer to them as "step" or "half" or "fake" or "real" with me. Do that under your breath
Ain't nobody got time for you to use them......I know I put myself out there to be used at times, but when you take advantage and don't have any reciprocation.......just SMH. Thankfully, I have always been given back pressed down, shaken together and running over from other sources :)
Ain't nobody got time for your uncompromising ways.....we can't always get what we want, and as nice as I am, I NEVER coddle. That's too early for you, ok I'll see you when you get there. You don't want to pay that much, ok we'll get together next time. You don't eat any of this food, did you pack a snack? Oh, I'm sorry you'll have to wait.
Ain't nobody got time to wait on you to decide how you feel about me.......to steal the words from Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes (AKA Teddy Pendegrass :) "if you don't know me by now, you will never ever know me" Truth is, you know exactly how you feel!!
Words for Women from Dr. Phil.........with tidbits from me :)
This is advice Dr. Phil gave to women a couple of years ago. It really spoke to me then and still does now so I wanted to share. Ramblings, foolywang and nonsensical comments in red are from me. LOL! Enjoy
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay..
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. - he is not that busy, nor is he that stressed..he just don't want you. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't 'be friends'. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. - HALLELUJAH!! Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don't stay because you think 'it will get better'
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you. - WOW!
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. - Shawty Lo....hahahahaha
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.* Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. - borrow? hmmmmm
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs. - very true :) lots of good ones out there
You should not be the one doing all the bending....
Compromise is two way street..
You need time to heal between relationships....
There is nothing cute about baggage....
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship- PREACH
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals....
Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. - also, never date a man that doesn't have reliable transportation method
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful.
You should know that:
You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one.
They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices.
Make the right one.
Ladies take care of your own hearts....
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...
You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay..
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. - he is not that busy, nor is he that stressed..he just don't want you. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't 'be friends'. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. - HALLELUJAH!! Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don't stay because you think 'it will get better'
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you. - WOW!
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. - Shawty Lo....hahahahaha
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.* Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. - borrow? hmmmmm
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs. - very true :) lots of good ones out there
You should not be the one doing all the bending....
Compromise is two way street..
You need time to heal between relationships....
There is nothing cute about baggage....
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship- PREACH
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals....
Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. - also, never date a man that doesn't have reliable transportation method
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful.
You should know that:
You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one.
They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices.
Make the right one.
Ladies take care of your own hearts....
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...
You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Playlists
A few people have asked me for my Bedroom Jamz playlist so I decided to publish it here just because :) This is the playlist currently......It always changes but I keep it under 30 songs. Hope you enjoy!
Bedroom Jamz....WARNING!! Do not listen while at work
1. Til the Cops Come Knocking Maxwell
2. Whip Appeal Babyface
3. In the Morning Urban Mystic
4. Calling Me Raheem DeVaughn
5. Let me Make Love to You The O'Jays
6. Crown Royal Jill Scott
7. Beautiful Me'Shell Ndegecello
8. Whenever, Wherever, Whatever Maxwell
9. Hey Now Carl Thomas
10. With You Marsha Ambrosius
11. Best Part of the Day Urban Mystic
12. Love Me Down Freddie Jackson
13. Freak N' You Jodeci
14. Lick Joi
15. #!'@ You Tonight Biggie Smalls & R. Kelly
16. If Only for One Night Luther Vandross
17. Love Won't Let Me Wait Luther Vandross
18. Love Scene Joe
19. Come & Go With Me Teddy Pendegrass
20. Love's Greatest Episode Joe
21. Meeting in My Bedroom Silk
22. Sweet Love Anita Baker
23. Don't Let Go EnVogue
24. You Jesse Powell
25. Don't Say No Just Say Yes Avant
26. 12 Play R. Kelly
I will post my Sunday Morning Shoutin, Heartbreak Brown Liquor, Kanye's Workout Plan and If This Ain't Love playlists later this week :)
Bedroom Jamz....WARNING!! Do not listen while at work
1. Til the Cops Come Knocking Maxwell
2. Whip Appeal Babyface
3. In the Morning Urban Mystic
4. Calling Me Raheem DeVaughn
5. Let me Make Love to You The O'Jays
6. Crown Royal Jill Scott
7. Beautiful Me'Shell Ndegecello
8. Whenever, Wherever, Whatever Maxwell
9. Hey Now Carl Thomas
10. With You Marsha Ambrosius
11. Best Part of the Day Urban Mystic
12. Love Me Down Freddie Jackson
13. Freak N' You Jodeci
14. Lick Joi
15. #!'@ You Tonight Biggie Smalls & R. Kelly
16. If Only for One Night Luther Vandross
17. Love Won't Let Me Wait Luther Vandross
18. Love Scene Joe
19. Come & Go With Me Teddy Pendegrass
20. Love's Greatest Episode Joe
21. Meeting in My Bedroom Silk
22. Sweet Love Anita Baker
23. Don't Let Go EnVogue
24. You Jesse Powell
25. Don't Say No Just Say Yes Avant
26. 12 Play R. Kelly
I will post my Sunday Morning Shoutin, Heartbreak Brown Liquor, Kanye's Workout Plan and If This Ain't Love playlists later this week :)
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Education, Service and Relationships
Because I consider myself an armchair psychologist and a cross between Dr. Phil, Iyanla and sometimes Sister Souljah, I love analyzing others and analyzing myself. And as I was preparing for my 2013, I spent a LOT of time in reflection on areas in my life where I wanted to concentrate. I came up with relationships, education and service. After so much tragedy and witnessing a lost generation, I knew I wanted to do more for my community, so I set out an intentional and focused plan on areas where I thought I could be beneficial. That was easy. I also knew that I had future goals for my career and creating sources of supplemental income, so I researched and planned courses and opportunities for me to sharpen my skills in order to have the life I desire. That was also easy.
The real work came in my dealings with relationships. I desire to continue and to grow the friendships I currently have, be more available and present with my family, and to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for a relationship with a life partner. So why is this such hard work for me? Because in order to be purposeful and intentional in improving ME, I have to be honest and truthful in why this area is important and needs work.
It was easy diagnosing why education and service was important and needed work . They just hadn't been focused on for several years as time, other interests and job stabilization got in the way. And as I saw people around me who needed help, I HAD to do something. And now that I am happy and comfortable with my job, I knew it was time to push and challenge myself to greater levels.....to really use my talents in a way that will help me live the life I desire. It was a no brainer. But identifying my breakdown of close relationships was much harder........because it can be painful to look inside.
Here's what I discovered: I love HARD. And when you love that hard and people leave, or change, or you outgrow, or they make bad decisions it is painful to endure. It's like some one stole a little piece of you, and you long for and reminisce about they way it used to be. And many times when you are building these relationships, you get rejected. Your services are not wanted. So under the guise of "minding my business" I haven't always formed the most connected relationships. While I have gotten much better at it from growth and working on other parts of me, I don't make being connected a priority. And when it's all said and done, I want to be known as a good daughter, sister, friend and confidante but I am not doing the WORK it takes to become that. Not in the way I desire to be.....all emotional, all compassionate, and all introspective. So I have decided to instead of letting people know how I feel about them and what they mean to me, to SHOW them. To repair broken relationships, to let broken relationships go, to focus on people who focus on me and stop devoting time and attention to those who don't. And that's a hard task for a people pleaser like me :) But in the short time that I have made this a focused priority, I have gained SOOOOO much more than I have lost.
This lends itself directly to me preparing myself for dating, love, romance and all that other gushy stuff :) So paramount that I will say it again: To repair broken relationships, to let broken relationships go, to focus on people who focus on me and stop devoting time and attention to those who don't.
The real work came in my dealings with relationships. I desire to continue and to grow the friendships I currently have, be more available and present with my family, and to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for a relationship with a life partner. So why is this such hard work for me? Because in order to be purposeful and intentional in improving ME, I have to be honest and truthful in why this area is important and needs work.
It was easy diagnosing why education and service was important and needed work . They just hadn't been focused on for several years as time, other interests and job stabilization got in the way. And as I saw people around me who needed help, I HAD to do something. And now that I am happy and comfortable with my job, I knew it was time to push and challenge myself to greater levels.....to really use my talents in a way that will help me live the life I desire. It was a no brainer. But identifying my breakdown of close relationships was much harder........because it can be painful to look inside.
Here's what I discovered: I love HARD. And when you love that hard and people leave, or change, or you outgrow, or they make bad decisions it is painful to endure. It's like some one stole a little piece of you, and you long for and reminisce about they way it used to be. And many times when you are building these relationships, you get rejected. Your services are not wanted. So under the guise of "minding my business" I haven't always formed the most connected relationships. While I have gotten much better at it from growth and working on other parts of me, I don't make being connected a priority. And when it's all said and done, I want to be known as a good daughter, sister, friend and confidante but I am not doing the WORK it takes to become that. Not in the way I desire to be.....all emotional, all compassionate, and all introspective. So I have decided to instead of letting people know how I feel about them and what they mean to me, to SHOW them. To repair broken relationships, to let broken relationships go, to focus on people who focus on me and stop devoting time and attention to those who don't. And that's a hard task for a people pleaser like me :) But in the short time that I have made this a focused priority, I have gained SOOOOO much more than I have lost.
This lends itself directly to me preparing myself for dating, love, romance and all that other gushy stuff :) So paramount that I will say it again: To repair broken relationships, to let broken relationships go, to focus on people who focus on me and stop devoting time and attention to those who don't.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
33 Things Before 34
The holidays were SUPER busy and I have not been able to update my blog about my experiences, growth, adventures and insightful revelations!! But there's been a'plenty....and I can't wait to share them with you. For starters, here is my list of 33 things I plan on doing before I turn 34 in December of 2013. These are mainly focused on relationships, education and service and are designed to take me out of my comfort zone, unleash hidden potential or just for fun. What do you think?
1. Create guest room and literary lounge
2. Get certification
3. Take blogging/writing class
4. Take a make-up class
5. Call family & friends on way to gym and Food Lion
6. Have a carb free and/or meatless day once a week
7. Chair a committee (AKA/JLC/etc..)
8. Organize all closets
9. Take MH on a trip
10. Visit Houston, Fayetteville AR, D.C.
11. Send 2 thinking of you cards monthly
12. Adopt a family for entire year
13. Take advanced excel classes
14. Go to 2 city council and black chamber of commerce meetings
15. Ask some one out on a date
16. Host parlor meeting/power lunches (3 total)
17. Dr. Oz 3 day cleanse
18. Create travel, family, special moments memory book
19. Send Valentine's letters
20. Buy Rosetta Stone Spanish
21. Ramblin Rose triathlon training program
22. Host a Panther tailgate
23. Purge desks and drawers
24. Go ice skating
25. Become a mentor
26. Research and take steps to sit on a board
27. Take a mental health day once a month
28. Start steps for "Network & Connections" idea
29. Donate to both Alma maters
30. Go to social event where I won't know anyone by myself
31. Increase my PIE professionally
32. Plan special event for girlfriend
33. Host 3 things at my house
1. Create guest room and literary lounge
2. Get certification
3. Take blogging/writing class
4. Take a make-up class
5. Call family & friends on way to gym and Food Lion
6. Have a carb free and/or meatless day once a week
7. Chair a committee (AKA/JLC/etc..)
8. Organize all closets
9. Take MH on a trip
10. Visit Houston, Fayetteville AR, D.C.
11. Send 2 thinking of you cards monthly
12. Adopt a family for entire year
13. Take advanced excel classes
14. Go to 2 city council and black chamber of commerce meetings
15. Ask some one out on a date
16. Host parlor meeting/power lunches (3 total)
17. Dr. Oz 3 day cleanse
18. Create travel, family, special moments memory book
19. Send Valentine's letters
20. Buy Rosetta Stone Spanish
21. Ramblin Rose triathlon training program
22. Host a Panther tailgate
23. Purge desks and drawers
24. Go ice skating
25. Become a mentor
26. Research and take steps to sit on a board
27. Take a mental health day once a month
28. Start steps for "Network & Connections" idea
29. Donate to both Alma maters
30. Go to social event where I won't know anyone by myself
31. Increase my PIE professionally
32. Plan special event for girlfriend
33. Host 3 things at my house
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