I have a secret to tell you......Gloria Jean is not my first choice. Shhhh.....don't tell her though. Gloria Jean is my car, a 2010 steel grey Ford Fusion. She now has 61,000 miles, a missing rim, a cracked rim, a waxed passenger seat and a chewed out front ventilation. You may look at her and think she is not the most attractive girl, or the most comfortable, and gets too loud and agitated when pulling small hills, but she has a hidden beauty. SHE IS FREE! Maintenance, insurance, gas, car washes.....ALL FREE. For the low fee of $110 a month, I get unlimited use of her. I can't personalize or customize anything on her, but other than that, her use is at my discretion. She has gotten me over some tough roads, some long rides and great times. But she is not my first choice. She's uncomfortable. You can feel everything in her. She is loud, when there is really no reason to be. She can never keep all her shoes on (rims).
I have secretly been lusting after different options....like a BMW 328i, Volvo S60 and Infiniti G25. I find myself during the day looking these cars up online, learning about them, reading consumer reports, estimating payments. I have set a time aside to go test drive and inquire about them. I kinda want one. But I know that makes no sense. Why would I go test drive something that I know I don't need? Because I know what will happen... I will fall in love and want to get it. Which lead me to thinking about how that happens in relationships and crushes and such.
Have you ever test driven a guy? You know, KNEW he wasn't the right fit for you, all the signs were there but you tried anyway. Only to fall to deep and not know how to end it.....Yep, I've been there. But why do we do it? It's not because he is so cute, or he is so rich, or his car is so nice. NO, all of that is superficial. We may gawk and fantasize about those things, but that's not what makes us test drive. What make us test drive is because he does the ONE thing that the last guy didn't. He compliments us when ole dude never told you that you looked nice. He's tall when ole dude didn't want you to wear your heels. He's into rap music when ole dude thought it was just noise and called you immature. And that's fine. You realize that those things are important to you and make a difference in your relationship. But you know you want more. You NEED more. And this guy can't or won't fulfill those needs. You know you're test driving a car that you can't afford or can't have....but if only.
Just thinking out loud......
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
I'm S.E.X.I and I Know It
I have been "trying" to lose 10 lbs for 3 years now. 10 lbs, that's always the magical number. For background I have always been a small girl. OK, I was SKIN-TY. Stayed that way thru high school and college. Barely broke 100 lbs. But I was not healthy. I'm not saying because I was small I wasn't healthy. I'm actually not 100% sure that the 2 were related. But I was stayed sick starting at around age 16 and didn't know why. I started suffering from terrible migraines. I was always tired. Walking around the neighborhood was a challenge for me. My cycles were highly irregular. I couldn't get enough sleep. It became so bad that often times my headaches wouldn't stop until I vomited. I was at my worst point health wise after I graduated from Xavier University. I decided then to tell a doctor about it to determine what was wrong with me. Although all my normal check ups stated I was fine, I knew this was not normal. After explaining my symptoms to my doctor, she was able to quickly identify my issue. Long story short, my hormones were all out of control and I was not making them any better by my everyday actions. No excercise, skipping meals, not taking vitamins etc... So, I started walking, taking birth control and started EATING. That's right EATING. Certain amount of carbs, protein and vitamins essential to my health. Within days I started to feel better. Since then I RARELY have unexplained headaches, let alone migraines anymore. I was feeling great. My skin started to glow. I played girls flag football. I tried all different kinds of foods like sushi, Carribbean food, all the good stuff. Life was lovely. I had never felt so good. UNTIL.....that's right UNTIL. Until I went home and family looked at me like I was as large as the Goodyear blimp. It made me self conscious. Because in my mind, I looked fine. Sure I had gained some weight but I wasn't aware how much. I never weighed myself, didn't own a scale. What was all this fuss about? When I returned to Charlotte I purchased a scale at the Target on Rea Rd and it read that I weighed 135 lbs. GASP! Obviously that was too large for a 25 yr old 5'4" woman. Right? It must be cause my folks couldn't stop talking about it. I couldn't let this happen. I had to get help. I had to lose 10 lbs.....IMMEDIATELY!! So I signed up for Jenny Craig. Because true, my eating habits were a mess!! I didn't cook, ate out a lot, and consumed a lot of calories by what I drank. But Jenny Craig didn't really work for me (at the time, it has now since drastically changed) because it did not allow my set standard of protein each day. Regardless of my weight, I knew I wanted to stay on the path my doctor had set for me, just cut out the non essentials. I tried a couple of other fad diets that I didn't stick to or didn't work. After that I just convinced myself that my family was just shocked at the "new" me. They didn't mean that I was too heavy, just that they were not used to seeing me that size. I got over it and went on about my merry way. UNTIL...yep, UNTIL. Until it was time for my 10 yr high school reunion. Wow, 10 yrs I had to be right for that. In my mind, I needed to lose 10 lbs and then I would be a brick house, YEAH. So I enlisted the help of a trainer, who I will affectionately call Trainer B. I told him my goal and he just looked at me. Didn't give me a time line when I would get there, didn't tell me to cut any food out or anything of the sort. He just said ok. For the next 6 months I worked out with Trainer B 2 to 3 times weekly for 30 minutes. I couldn't believe the progress I was making. I felt WONDERFUL!! I had so much energy, had gained so much confidence. I was truly coming out of my shell. I still wasn't looking at the scale, my eating habits were better, but still not good. At the end of the 6 months right before my reunion, I asked "Hey, we haven't measured or taken my weight. Where is my progress?" Because I KNEW I had lost those 10 lbs. Had to. Before we did, he asked me did I notice any changes or had anyone else noticed. YES. Some one I casually knew sent me an email saying he saw me in the gym and I was looking good, keep doing what I was doing. Several ladies asked me what exercises did I do for my arms without me even saying I worked out. But most of all, my ENERGY and STRENGTH. I was a beast!! Then came the moment of truth, the scale. 145!!! WTF?? How could this be? I GAINED weight. Did I really just gain 10 lbs? I was a big mixed bag of emotions. But then, he took my measurements. ALL WERE DOWN (that needed to be :) my waistline, my body fat %, my shoulders, all were down. I was confused. How could this be but I gained 10 lbs? Something must be wrong with me....those damn hormones again. But I accepted it and went on to my reunion and had a blast!! I didn't work out with Trainer B anymore, how could he know what he was doing? I gained 10 lbs......which means I didn't work out at all. NOTHING. And I started to feel it. I was anxious, tired, ill feeling and my clothes weren't fitting anymore. Oh NO! So I called him back up and said I need to get back on the program. My goal this time was to be strong and small. YOu know, lose 10lbs, 26 waist, low body fat.....YEAH, you know brickhouse. My 30th bday was approaching. I had to be ready. And as I was making a list of the 30 things I've learned by 30, something hit me. A HUGE revelation. It almost took my breath away. Here it is:
At some point in my life, I was super fine- but I didn't realize it LOL Now I will tell myself everyday that I am super fine - cuz obviously I don't know when it happens
I had been chasing this mythical 10 lbs. And what's so ironic is that 10 lbs ago, I was chasing 10 lbs. Would it ever stop? So, 135 lbs was too big? 145 was too big? What is the right weight? Did I need to lose 10 or 20? I realized that I will always be chasing this dream of body perfection. When I look at the mirror or the scale, I will always focus on what is wrong vs. what is right. If I just had a six pack, if my booty didn't droop, if I didn't have so much girth......and if if was a fifth, we'd all be drunk. When the truth is, yes there are things I can improve about my body, but my major improvement needed to be with my body image. I started re-inventing how I look at myself;
My body is strong. My body is healthy. I have a great smile, makes even the crazy people wanna talk to me. I naturally have breasts that people pay good money for. My shoulders and upper arms are ridiculously toned when I flex. I think I am a super cute height for a girl. My body is strong. My body is healthy. I am not at high or moderate risk for blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, cholesterol, etc. My skin auto corrects itself fairly quickly. I have very soft skin, especially on and under my shoulders and arms. My body is strong. My body is healthy.
So am I still trying to lose weight? Yes and no. I strength train 2 to 3 times a week with trainer B, I run/walk occasionally, I take Zumba class 1 to 2 times a week, I try to swim in the summer. I am working on giving my body the things it needs to work well, like nutritious foods and water and rest. But I do not and will not diet. I still eat dessert. I still have a glass of wine with the girls. I just do these things in moderation and try to get better everyday. If this equates to 10 lbs, GREAT! But I know doing what is best for my body and my health will always lead to me being S.E.X.I.
strong exactly as intended
sassy exactly as intended
smart exactly as intended
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Cinco de Mayo
Thursday – “Happy Hour w/Friends Fiesta” After work a group of friends and I gathered at Sullivan’s, a popular spot in Charlotte, and sat out on the patio to enjoy the specials. I HIGHLY recommend the salmon salad & Red Over Heels martini. The mix of fresh field greens, grilled salmon, feta or bleu cheese, candied pecans and vinaigrette dressing topped off with a refreshingly sweet martini for the total price of $15 cannot be beat. They have a great menu on Thursdays at the bar or on the patio and half price martinis all night. Other popular choices are the burger and bleu cheese meatballs. They feature a live jazz band, have a spacious covered patio and great atmosphere. I would suggest early arrival to secure a table because it gets crowded fast. Or you could take the late shift once the crowd thins a little. Just be a little patient with the wait staff…..It gets very busy out there.
This particular Thursday was a lite night. My usual “friends” were there…..Rick Ross look alike who tried to kidnap me a few months back, old man who pledged with my uncle, and my buddy from “Babunda”. Now I have a question: I am not a geography scholar, only took a semester of it in high school and am terrible at reading a map. But on what atlas is 20 minutes outside of Birmingham considered lower Alabama? And if that is where you are from, wouldn’t you know that’s not considered lower Alabama? See, this is the foolishness that I run across on a daily basis. Why was he even talking to us? You know what, I can answer that question…He was talking to us because we were a table full of beautiful women. The real question is, why was I responding to him? I know better.
Friday – “Girls Night In Margarita Madness” Friday night I hosted a small gathering of girlfriends for dinner. The menu consisted of spiced chicken, mango habanero fish and beef tacos. For appetizers I served stuffed jalapenos and chips with queso. Total prep time took 45 minutes. Mexican is always a great option for a quick after work meal. Plenty of fresh vegetables and sauteed meat make it a perfect choice for entertaining a large group of people. Add margaritas and wine to that, and you are guaranteed a good time. And with these ladies, the conversation is always lively and knowledgeable. I learned 5 things Friday night:
1)Tuck & Roll is always 2nd move after being pushed into a fight 2)You have to throw down a challenge for men with thick lips 3)Hit ‘em in the face! Hit ‘em in the face 4)Once a group of men co-sign a bad idea, reason and common sense disappear 5)You get a nickname until you are verified
Saturday – “Cinco de Mayo” We attended a day party at Club Phoenix and had a BLAST!!! I don’t know what she put in those margaritas, but they were delicious J I like day parties because it is a much more laid back and relaxed atmosphere as opposed to parties at night. You don’t have to be so dressed up or uptight. But it does bring up the question, what is appropriate day party attire? Actually anything goes!! I would leave the party dresses at home, but jeans and cute tops, maxi and sundresses, and hemmed shorts are all winners. The party dresses are just a bit too much during the day. And white shoes are off limits. PERIOD. I’m not talking about tennis shoes or sandals, but any other type of white shoes = country.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
I'm Scared to Commit........to a paint color
Choosing the right paint colors for your home can be a challenging and seemingly permanent task. I know….It took me 3 yrs to pick out the color scheme for my townhome. But I have learned a few tips and steps to help anyone else who may also be scared to “commit”
My first piece of advice is to take a picture of the room you are painting to bring with you as you are looking at paint samples. Pick an underlying color from the furniture in the room or focus on a bold color in the pattern. If the colors and fabrics in the room are predominately one color, try a contrasting color for the wall.
My second piece of advice is to look at the paint color in natural light. Colors can have a vastly different effect first thing in the morning than when you come home in the evening. Decide the “temperature” of the room. Orange, red and pinks are considered warm colors while violets, greens and blues are cool.
My third piece of advice is neutral does not always equal white. Gold, silver and brown tones can add a sense of warmth and coordinate with everything. Also, choose 2 to 3 neutral tones for your home to alternate colors for different rooms.
My last piece of advice is that paint is not permanent. Try painting just one wall of a room for contrast. Experiment with a bold color you love. If you don’t like it, choose again!
The Curious Case of the Cranky Trash Compactor
Why does everything seem to break down when you are expecting guests? Well that is exactly what happened to me a few weeks ago. I was preparing dinner for a small group of friends and my trash compactor went out. You would think that once I noticed it was not operating properly, I would stop running water down the drain causing a back-up….But alas, I did not. As the issue became progressively worse, I knew I had to handle the issue immediately. Not only because it ruined the décor, but also because it was beginning to smell, and I did not want that at my dinner table. I called a handyman to get a quote on an emergency fix and he told me around $60. Are you kidding me? New trash compactors only cost $80 to $120, so I was definitely not going to pay that much for a fix. What is a diva to do? DO IT ALL. Here is a step by step process on how to fix a garbage disposal without all the garbage:
1. Go to circuit breaker and cut off disposal system. If it is not marked, just try a few switches until you locate the correct one. Nothing will be harmed.
2. Run water and vinegar down the drain to help loosen the clog or waste. Use ¼ to ½ cup of vinegar and run slowly. Let stand for three minutes.
3. Open the cabinet under the sink where the disposal is housed. Under the disposal, there is a red reset button. Press this button.
4. Return to circuit breaker and power disposal back on. Check to see if this has corrected the problem.
5. If it still isn’t working properly, power the disposal system back off at the circuit breaker. This most likely means that something is obstructing the blades from turning.
6. To clear the blades, use the garbage disposal wrench that comes with the machine. If you do not know where or what that is no worries. You can also use a simple Allen wrench. At the bottom of the disposal, near the reset button, there is an opening. Insert the wrench in the hole and turn. Keep doing this until you can turn with ease.
7. Return to circuit breaker and power disposal back on. This should fix the problem and you can return to cooking with ease.
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