In my mind, I think of myself as a mix of Dr. Phil, Sista Soulja and Iyanla. Now, no one has ever told me that....haven't even come close but that's how my mind operates so work with me here. I say this because I am always analyzing my feeling and emotions; or trying to figure out why this was said or done; or what makes people tick. I have no psychology degree and don't remember much from the 1 psych class I did take back in 2000, but I consider myself an expert in various realms of human nature. I give a lot of advice and share my wisdom with friends, family and strangers alike....but I always give the caveat "but I don't know what I'm talking about so take this with a grain of salt"....just so I won't be held responsible for a catastrophe that I am SURE is yet to come from my unsolicited and at times unwarranted advice.
The topic I know the LEAST about is men(unmarried)...strange creatures who defy the concept of MY logic. LOL! But it's one of my favorite topics to shed "my" wisdom and light on....here are a few of my favorites :)
1. I'mma call you right back means I'm doing something more important/entertaining than talking to you but I don't know how to tell you that
2. They only answer the question that is asked....which is so unlike women. We have a need to fill in the blanks
3. Are selective with their "prime time" (Fri- Sun 6:00PM - 11:00PM)........if you're not getting it, you're not "selected"
4. Have a NEED to comment on women's body parts/etc when surrounded by other dudes.......no offense intended
5. Never really notice much about our hair...just that it's neat or tidy.....all that time we spend flat ironing and curling...SMH
6. If they're under 30, will never have enough towels, sheets, silverware etc......but have all the latest electronics
7. Love to take the garbage out for you......for real
8. Don't do closure......that's definitely a woman thing
9. Will call tennis shoes, gadgets and cars sexy but won't notice you exfoliated, buffed, baby oiled up and spent over an hr getting ready
10. Are afraid of and want to immediately lie about 3 questions...1)What did you do last night? 2)Can we talk? 3)Can I go/Am I invited?
11. Like to cuddle too :)
12. Don't mind co-ed baby showers, but hate the opening gifts portion
13. Invented the "pulse" check.........they can't imagine you continuing to breathe and live a normal life after they left
14. EVERY football game is important........bball, not so much
15. Hate to see you cry......even if it's your fault
16. Think they have a chance if you smile and say hello.......for real
17. Won't ask you the questions they don't want to be asked
18. Understand all the entendres in rap songs but are LOST when you talk about reality TV
19. Go to sleep and wake up to Sports Center......even tho they replay the SAME stories all week
20. Show affection by actions......not words
But I don't know what I'm talking about, so take this with a grain of salt : )
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