Closure is for weaves, not Relationships
So today I feel compelled to talk about a topic I know next
to nothing about; MEN. But just because I don't know anything
about a topic doesn't stop me from giving my opinion based on nothing but
what I have concocted in my head. So word of advice to any single women
reading this - don't take my thoughts as ANY kind of help or advice. Half of the time I don't know what I'm
talking about. LOL. But here it goes anyway.
There are 3 things that I know about men 1) For the most part, they don't go shopping just to browse with no intentions. They have something or a look in mind that they want to try. 2) When they know what they want, they buy it. If they need a new pair of black slacks and they see a pair of black slacks that they like, fit well and are the right price, they buy it. No need to go looking around for something better. 3) Men don't do closure. When they are done, they are done.
Since these are the only 3 things that I know for sure, I take this little knowledge and apply it to EVERY dealing I have with the opposite sex. I have nothing else to go on and we all know they don't speak the same language as women, so if they are telling me something different I don't understand it anyway. LOL. So what does this mean in relationships & dating?? How does this knowledge help and guide me?? Let me break it down.....
1)For the most part, they don't go shopping just to browse with no intentions. They have something in mind that they want to buy - when he approaches you he knows what he wants from you; how you respond determines if he puts you back on the shelf, tries you on, or uses you for a different purpose. Whether he's looking at you for a good time girl, someone he wants to get to know, or one night stand he has a plan in mind before he even asks your name. So don't be mad at end of conversation if he doesn't ask for your number, it wasn't going anywhere anyway. And PLEASE don't offer him a sheet of paper & pen when he doesn't ask for it.....just THIRSTY.
2) When they know what they want, they buy it. If they need a new pair of black slacks and they see a pair of black slacks that they like, fit well and are the right price, they buy it. No need to go looking around for something better - if he does not want to be in a serious relationship, I don't care how wonderful you are, it’s not happening. He's not looking for slacks altho you are a really nice black pair. On the other hand, when he is ready to settle down he looks around him for who can fit the bill and claims her. i know, i know...I hear ya and have heard it all before "what was so wrong with me, i woulda been with him? what's so special about her over me?' now, ignoring any crazy issues that you have that she doesn't...nothing. you are the same. her timing was just better......which leads me to my final certain truth......
3) Men don't do closure. When they are done, they are done - you will never know what was wrong with you because he won't tell you. maybe it was your fault, maybe it wasn't. maybe he was just scared to love you, but I doubt it. maybe you could have done something differently, maybe not. The only thing you can do is reflect on the choices and decisions you made and move on....trying to figure him out is just wasting your time, because you're probably wrong. LOL
There are 3 things that I know about men 1) For the most part, they don't go shopping just to browse with no intentions. They have something or a look in mind that they want to try. 2) When they know what they want, they buy it. If they need a new pair of black slacks and they see a pair of black slacks that they like, fit well and are the right price, they buy it. No need to go looking around for something better. 3) Men don't do closure. When they are done, they are done.
Since these are the only 3 things that I know for sure, I take this little knowledge and apply it to EVERY dealing I have with the opposite sex. I have nothing else to go on and we all know they don't speak the same language as women, so if they are telling me something different I don't understand it anyway. LOL. So what does this mean in relationships & dating?? How does this knowledge help and guide me?? Let me break it down.....
1)For the most part, they don't go shopping just to browse with no intentions. They have something in mind that they want to buy - when he approaches you he knows what he wants from you; how you respond determines if he puts you back on the shelf, tries you on, or uses you for a different purpose. Whether he's looking at you for a good time girl, someone he wants to get to know, or one night stand he has a plan in mind before he even asks your name. So don't be mad at end of conversation if he doesn't ask for your number, it wasn't going anywhere anyway. And PLEASE don't offer him a sheet of paper & pen when he doesn't ask for it.....just THIRSTY.
2) When they know what they want, they buy it. If they need a new pair of black slacks and they see a pair of black slacks that they like, fit well and are the right price, they buy it. No need to go looking around for something better - if he does not want to be in a serious relationship, I don't care how wonderful you are, it’s not happening. He's not looking for slacks altho you are a really nice black pair. On the other hand, when he is ready to settle down he looks around him for who can fit the bill and claims her. i know, i know...I hear ya and have heard it all before "what was so wrong with me, i woulda been with him? what's so special about her over me?' now, ignoring any crazy issues that you have that she doesn't...nothing. you are the same. her timing was just better......which leads me to my final certain truth......
3) Men don't do closure. When they are done, they are done - you will never know what was wrong with you because he won't tell you. maybe it was your fault, maybe it wasn't. maybe he was just scared to love you, but I doubt it. maybe you could have done something differently, maybe not. The only thing you can do is reflect on the choices and decisions you made and move on....trying to figure him out is just wasting your time, because you're probably wrong. LOL
But let’s be honest with
ourselves. What are you really seeking with this “closure” that you are looking
for? To get him back? No, we know it’s
too late for that. We’ve seen the
signs. An apology? For what, that’s not
going to change the situation that he wants out and we are left holding the
pieces. NO, what we really want is
validation. Validation that it wasn’t
us. Validation that we are pretty
enough, good enough, smart enough, clean enough, talented enough. This closure thing isn’t even about HIM, it’s
about YOU/ME. So if by some chance he
does give you the closure you are looking for, take it as a blessing. But if not, the work is still on YOU. You have to self-reflect and evaluate the
choices, actions and emotions that you made and that you allowed. And learn from that.
Now I know you are asking, has this advice and knowledge
helped me in any way with the opposite sex? No, not really.
LOL. But it hasn't hurt me either, so that's gotta count for
something. so what compelled me to re-write about this today? My new obsession with Being Mary Jane. Such a real show with real
circumstances. Now, we might not show up
at the friend’s house asking about the ex boo, but the need to have closure and
to know why is very real.
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