This past weekend I had the experience of travelling to NY with a great group of ladies and had a blast!! From breathing the same air as Denzel as I watched him perform in "A Raisin in the Sun", to going thru the most thorough security check EVER in life to being accosted by a he/she, I have stories to TELL! But that's for another blog.
Today I want to talk about a conversation I had with the ladies this weekend. The trip was organized by a friend of mine who wanted to take her college-aged niece to NY for her first time and surround her with professional mid thirties to early forties women. At dinner one night, she asked us what would be our one piece of advice we would give to her niece as she embarks upon real womanhood and the adult working world. What things do we wish we would have known then, which is what inspires this blog post today. What advice would I have given 22 yr old Drea Nicole? After careful thought and consideration, here is my list:
1. Never tell your family how much or how little money you make; only leads to problems. From folks wanting to borrow money because "you got it" or folks commenting on the price of things YOU own, or, my all time favorite, folks just expecting you to contribute or do certain things that have NOTHING to do with you, to folks wondering why you paid so much for college only to do this........ The canned responses are "I'm comfortable" "I do alright" or "I can pay all my bills and have a little left over for me" This will save you a lot of uncomfortable conversations in the future. Sidenote: you get everything from Target on SALE
2. A year is a SHORT amount of time, don't worry about wasting it; I know that doesn't sound like you, but at 22 and 23 yrs old, its SOOOO true. And I don't mean to be lazy and unfocused and do NOTHING, but it's ok if you are not sure about something - you can give it a try for a yr. and if it doesn't work out, try something else. Or go on that risky endeavour for a year to see what happens. Do a mission trip if you desire, try acting on Broadway, move to Chicago cause you've always loved it, do it all. These are the things you can do young, because it's a completely different story at 30. And staying in that profession or company that you knew was a wrong fit at age 24, becomes WAAAY more complicated to leave at 33. It can be done, but there's so much more to consider by then
3. You don't know everything, and no one expects you to - you don't have to be perfect the first day on the job, and you don't have to pretend you understand completely when you don't have a clue. Ask questions, admit when you've made a mistake and ask for feedback on how to improve. Even more, you don't have to be combative or loud to prove you are right. Strategically communicate your ideas and evidence and it will be heard. It may take some time, but with consistency and persistence, it WILL be heard
4. Embrace living by yourself - You have no clue who you are yet. You always thought you were neat, turns out you were just considerate. You kept your place neat because you lived with others. You will learn SOOOO much about yourself that you never realized. You are scared to sleep in house by yourself so you keep tv on, you don't like wearing clothes in the house, you love to decorate and entertain......who knew?
5. Date for fun - No need to figure out how he'll work into your future plans, or wonder if you should date him because you may have to move in a few years; don't worry about ANY of that. Just date to have fun and meet new people. And stories to tell later :) And don't wait so late develop your vixen attitude...it will serve you well in your early 20's :)
6. Travel - go visit friends and family and go on girls trips......don't wait so long to discover this pleasure
7. Set goals and plans....don't let life just happen to you. Just because things are going well does not mean that you don't have to take an active part in planning your life. There is so much untapped potential inside of you, it just needs to be developed and honed. Use this time to develop that potential so you can run with it in your 30's
8. Spend time and energy on people and things that matter - this is probably one of those life lessons that you will just have to learn the hard way, but focus your time and energy on people that SHOW that you matter. Stop wasting it on people who won't even text you on your birthday. Focus your energy on things that matter to you; family, friends, volunteer activities......leave all the superficial things that people expect you to participate in alone; it's not meant for you. One of the hardest lessons you will have to learn
9. Ask an expert about life matters.....and they won't always be your parents - just because Daddy did it, doesn't mean it is the best thing for you to do. Ask some more questions about buying a house, having a credit card, leasing vs. financing a car. There may have been special circumstances in Daddy's life that had him make the decisions he did that don't apply to you. You need to establish credit, so you putting items on a credit card will actually HELP you in purchasing your home
10. Embrace fear - you are a pretty calm and positive person, so when you're scared, it's usually because you are being pushed out of your comfort zone. GO FOR IT!!! That's where you learn and grow. Apply for that role, volunteer for that committee, speak up at that meeting......even at a young age, you have a lot of insight to offer and a lot to contribute
No comments:
Post a Comment